Bitter Quitter

I know what makes bitter hearts: Quitters.

Do you ever find yourself in a situation that drains you out of all hope, and mercilessly bathes you in a pool of disappointment and helplessness?

I sure do. At the peak of these times, I question why good people don't get what they deserve or why those who live blindly seem to live happier lives? Why God? Why are lied to every second that we are awake? Why can't we see past these lies?

But you know, one thing I've learned is that good works don't exactly make good people. Good works don't exactly protect hearts from bitterness nor hypocrisy. Sometimes, we just have to do more, look deeper, and have substance! I don't know why, and I really try to avoid feeling this way, but I am angered and hurt at the sight of empty-shelled happiness, superficial means of fulfilling the desires of our FLESH. I feel betrayed; I would feel as if we used to fight on the same team against the evils of our flesh, and NOW, NOW, you're practically the poster child of this 'world.' I honestly don't even know who I'm talking about anymore, in particular, I mean.

And there is no way I wish for these feelings to come out of any situation. It's always hard to set the line straight between who and what I'm hurt by. I hate talking like this, but I needed an outlet and I always feel like God reads me better than he hears me. I hate talking like this because who. am. i. to. say anything?! I hate feeling this way, maybe because I know just how hard the battle between the spirit and the flesh is. It doesn't come easy to anyone. But I guess it just hurts when people slowly stop fighting.

Quitting like I felt for more than a split second today... but all it did was harden my heart and I wasn't going back to that again: be miles and miles of distance away from God.

"For this world will fade away.
Still my song to You remains.
Only You will I adore."