Lately...

I've noticed our growing love for comfort, convenience, and ease. I've noticed how the tiniest discomfort, inconvenience, and uneasiness continue to hinder us to move- to GROW. Fear of rejection, jealousy, pride, feeling of belonging, and whatever our greatest fears and weaknesses are have been the building blocks of our characters. Everything negative we try to step away from instead take the shape of the smug looks on our faces, the clothes we wear, and our actions towards others.

Complacency. I've been thinking for days what the word is now that can best describe what I've been for the past eighteen years of my life. I always did only enough to get by. Never more. As much as I was taught not to be a people-pleaser, I was. And for every people-pleaser/"nice" guys and girls... we have to realize that there is a line between being a genuinely caring person and a selfish one. Sometimes, before I'd say and do what the other person would want to hear not because I didn't want to hurt their feelings but because I really didn't want to deal with the confrontation and cold shoulders that would follow. Selfish. I liked being comfortable... even if it was no longer good for me, or for anybody. I don't want that anymore.

It's easier said than done, I know... but believe me it's worth the try. You realize that people will either wanna stick with that or no. People will care enough to understand, but then again, not that I'm not there for my friends but in the end it's not going to be between you and your friends... it will be between you and God.

Oftentimes, I look around, wondering why am I always so confused? Why does it seem like I never know what God doesn't want me to do? And I realized it's because this whole time I base myself off of the standards of this world. Am I good enough for this and that? Will they see the things I am able to do? Why don't I ever feel called to do anything?

But I am and I can't even do it without falling here and there. I am called to take after His footsteps. Simple as that. Each and every person feeling useless needs to stop. We are stuck with the mentality that God will use us to OUR convenience... when we should always be available no matter what discomfort it brings and be happy in the very fact that God loves us. It's a love that's out of this world.

Until we live our lives for God, we will always be finding ourselves caught up in our habits, in circles of unmade decisions, and a wavering character.

We serve, love and stick with God for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, and us, death will never part.