overflowing.

i am in a bittersweet excursion right now. my youth is as alive as ever, yet the walls of my mind can hardly contain my worries, and my heart can barely keep up with it.

the world keeps spinning faster and faster and i just want it to slow down so i can take everything in. how can it be so unfair? why?

i know it's somewhat ridiculous to have a turn of events almost over night. i can't believe it either. life just gets so hard, you know? and it's stupid because of course you know! yet none of us seem to know how to slow things down in this fast-paced culture we live in.

one of the best things i love about going to school is that oftentimes, it is where i am able to find inspiration, motivation and even determination to make a difference. it is where i realize that i have the power to recreate the culture of my generation. but in all honesty, growing up, i have seen the gradual restrictions put on me as an adult in this so-called FREE country. indeed it is a country with overflowing opportunities to be who you want to be, but i feel as if i fall short on meeting the requirements. i don't really have a voice because it doesn't have to be heard since i'm no citizen. i can't do anything- i can barely even donate BLOOD. or apply for HELP because i'm not a citizen NOR do i have a social security number! it's like i don't count at all. and the more i want to do something, the more i can't do it. the question now is ... where does that leave me? and what does that make me?

my family has gone through and is going through one of the toughest things this world can possibly throw at us. it is what motivates me. as impossible as it may seem, i will find help and do anything so that the world may hear me crying out for freedom- the freedom, the chance to simply mold a generation that's to soon lead the next.

i know God is with us and that we really need to trust. i do trust, but i don't want to not do my part. i will do all that i can and i'm asking for anyone reading this to just pray for that; for the strength and the help available out there for us.

Trust.